Novelist and screenwriter Gillian Flynn has joked ofher creation “Gone girl” that the movie could “break up couples nationwide.” 🙂
This might contain spoilers. This is my personal opinion and might be different with yours 😉
A similar comment received from a friend of mine when I asked for the film’s review. She said after watching this film,women won’t trust men anymore, and men dare not get married. Curiosity leads me to the cinema.
But I think a bit different after the film. An advice from me is that you should go watch this movie with your partner -boyfriend/girlfriend/fiancé– (or at least with opposite-sex friends), and have a good discussion with him/her after watching it. It gives you a 360-degree view from both side for a double-sided story. It helps strengthen your relationship. If it does not but ruin yours, it’s time for you to go find someone else 😀
If you’re girls, watching with your girlfriends will lead you to a conversation like this: “Men are disgusting! They can say sugar-coated words. They make you feel like you are the only special girl in his whole life ever. And that they keep the most romantic acts for only you. But then, they do exact the same thing with another girl. They flirt and kiss other hotter younger sexier girls behind your back, even in your house. They betray you. They lie to you. They are such an as**hole. I don’t trust men anymore. I won’t ever get married”. Yes, that’s it, more or less.
And if you’re boys watching this with your gangs, the discussion would go like this “Oh shit, girls are too dangerous. Smart girls are even more dangerous. They can do whatever it takes to get what they want and to revenge their men. It ends up as a violent crime with just a start of a love affair. But, shit, we only do that when we have troubles in marriage or because our wives do not understand us and try to manipulate us… We have reasons to do that. And….we are still male … anyway. But the way Amy reacts is so psychic”. Yup, more or less…
I read this on TheAtlantic.com, and agree with it:“And regardless,the person you marry—”life” and all that—will turn into someone different, over time. Whether it comes from Nick or from Amy, the idea is the same: We are all, inevitably, products of each other. Friends and colleagues and—maybe most of all—partners are sources not just of companionship, but of influence. The people we choose help, in ways big and small, to make us who we are. We can only hope we choose well.”
Relationship/marriage is a matter of “For better or for worse”. From the beginning, Amy was not a murderer and Nick was not a liar. They were good people. But then they both gradually become, together, terrible ones. It’s absolutely not what we expect when we start a relationship, but sometimes it happens because we lack of RESPECT – TRUST – AND COMMUNICATION.
If only Amy respected Nick when asking his opinion about their savings usage. If only Nick respected Amy by asking her opinion before moving to Missouri. If only they trust each other’s abilities. If only they trust and make their partner trust them. If only they communicated with each other about their struggles, their thinking, and together solve it. Then, things might not end up with blood & disgust. [But then, we won’t have this great movie to think about :P]
In any relationship, if you can apply above 3 rules, you will make it better. And in case, you still can’t “save” that relationship, then it’s time to save yourself by getting out of it. If someone can betray you once, he can do it twice. I hardly believe that he can change because of you. Never. Simply because at the point of time he betray you, he does not only betray you physically (by kissing other girls or worse, f*cking her), but more importantly, he betray you spiritually. You can forget someone or something over time (not after 3 months, then 3 years or 30 years), but what sticks in your mind forever, is the feelings. You can never get a good sleep beside a person-who-you-know-is-treating-another-girl-exactly-the-same-way-he-did-to-you.That disgusting feeling will haunt you till death.
But people are unpredictable and changeable after times. So what should we do when we have a bad thinking in mind? Just put yourself in other’s shoes. Just think of your reactions when your partner does the same to you. Then there would be the next movie “Missing man”, I guess 😛
So to sum up, there are 3 main points gained after the film & the discussion:
- Always respect, trust and communicate properly with your partners.
- Never ever betray your partner after commited to a relationship/marriage. If it happens (covered or discovered), either you or that relationship is dead. You can save a patient, but you can’t save the dead.
- Be careful with smart girls. Smart girls sense such things better than you can imagine. It’s just their decision to let you know it or not.
So, good night all and have a nice day :))
— Vietnam 12:00 AM, one day after watching “Gone girl”